Oh this house

Well as I reflect tonight I realized that I bought this house when Irma was dieing and moved to Toledo when my parents were dieng and both times it wa too late. So why do I have to suffer this way? I have no clue ! I guess everyone suffers and both decisions have not turned out the best. What to do with the mistakes?i don't want to be left with the pain on my face or in my body. I want to be left alone. I no longer want to reach for what isn't there. I want to just find my peace for me and my family and that is it. So what is that.